


Runaway

by CallTheBaker



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Friendship, Gen, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 11:45:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13658322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallTheBaker/pseuds/CallTheBaker
Summary: She might be half way around the world, but she's still there for her best friend... and after all, Patsy understand running away better than most.Patsy sends Trixie a letter... Set after 7.4





	Runaway

“Patsy.” 

Patsy turned, smiling as Delia walked through into the bedroom of their apartment. Their tour of the world had brought them to the depths of Argentina and they’d decided to take a couple of weeks to slow their pace a little. They’d been zipping through Europe and Africa at a ridiculous pace, and it seemed quite apt that they take an extra week in South America, especially after a treacherous boat trip.

“Good morning, darling.” Patsy grinned, turning around. “What’ve you got there?”

“It’s a letter.” 

“For us?” 

They’d only given the address of their holiday apartment to two people. Patsy had sent it in letters posted just before they’d boarded the ship in Africa. The fact they’d received a reply somehow didn’t sit well.

“It’s from Phyllis.” Delia continued.

Patsy took a breath. A letter from Phyllis could only mean one thing - something had happened at Nonnatus. Delia looked haunted - both their minds had flitted to the obvious - Sister Monica Joan. Patsy bit her lip. She loved the old Nun but Delia adored her. They’d bonded over a love of cake and the redhead knew that if this letter carried the news she suspected it did that Delia would not want to open this letter. She slowly stood up, gently prising the letter away from Delia’s fingers. She took a moment to take comfort in the blue of Delia’s eyes before carefully sliding her thumb under the seal, withdrawing the letter and shaking it out.

_‘Patsy,_

_I trust that you and Delia are having a lovely time. We all are very much enjoying your postcards. However, I’m afraid I’m not writing to you to grant you our thanks. No, I’m afraid this is a much more sombre note but one I believe you’d wish to receive._

_I’m sorry to inform you that Trixie has been struggling of late. She parted ways with Mr Dockerill and has had great difficulty in dealing with their break up. It would appear that her past demons have come back to haunt her and whilst I loathe to use the word gave in, she has succumbed to finding comfort in the bottle._

_As such, she has chosen to take an absence of leave for six months. I have enclosed the address she has left. She’s resolute that she can be better and I believe she can and whilst she’s resolved not to be around friends as she recovers, I do believe a word from her best friend may not be amiss._

_In other lighter news, Lucille has settled in well. She recommends you visit the Caribbean on your travels and I’m sure both you and Delia will love her dearly. Val entered a beauty competition - she didn’t win but she did marvellously well and Sister Winifred has been knitting woollen breasts! Sister Monica Joan is having a cataracts operation to restore her sight and Barbara and Tom are still away._

_Do keep sending us your postcards._

_Tread carefully girls but ensure you live every moment to the fullest. Life is nothing if you don’t collect the memories._

_I’ll see you both when you are back._

_Yours,_

_Phyllis.’_

Patsy closed her eyes before handing the letter back to Delia. Delia read it quickly, her features falling as she took in the contents of the letter. She could see Patsy staring out of the window. She moved slowly to stand behind Patsy, her arms cautiously wrapping around the taller woman’s waist. They stood quietly for a few moments until Patsy broke the silence, her voice low and hoarse.

“Oh Trix.” She breathed. “I should have been there Deels… I would have seen the signs, I could have stopped it, helped her…”

“Darling, you can’t blame yourself.” Delia murmured.

“She must have felt so alone.” 

“You didn’t know this would happen.” Delia soothed, “Now go and write her a letter. Maybe you weren’t there when it first happened, but you can be there for her now, you can let her know that even thousands of miles away, you’re still here, you still love her and you believe in her.”

Patsy nodded, turning and pressing a kiss to Delia’s forehead before finding a piece of paper and a pen. She sat, at the small wooden desk in one corner of the bedroom, tapping the pen against her chin. She had so much to say and yet, at the same time she had no idea what to say. 

_‘Dear Trixie,’_

She sighed. That sounded so formal. She screwed the paper up.

_‘Trix,_

_I don’t know how to start this letter so you’ll have to forgive me if it’s one big, long, rambling mess. You and I both know that dealing with emotions, dealing with hardship and facing our past demons, doesn’t come easy. But there’s something else we both know - and that’s that facing them, no matter how petrifying always, always pays off in the end._

_I won’t beat around the bush, Trix. We’ve been friends, the best of friends, for far too long to mess around with pleasantries when there’s something to be said. Phyllis informed me of what’s happened and she passed me your address. I know you’ve gone away for a while and that’s fine, I understand, look at me, I’m half way around the world. It might all be a trip of a lifetime to most, a jaunt around the world with a willing friend, but I suspect you knew full well that it’s nothing more than an excuse to grieve in private. You and I both run when the going gets tough, pretend it’s not happening, and shut out those who are closest to us. I understand Trixie but know this. You are not alone. Neither of us are._

_I know I’m not there, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to support you, pick the pieces up and put you back together, but I’m here. I’m in Argentina right now… but by the time this letter reaches you I imagine I’ll be in Brazil, I’ll enclose the address of our hotel there, but my point is… I’m here. Whether I’m by your side or thousands of miles away you have me. Give me your number and I will ring you, if that’s what you want. Send me a thousand letters a week, and I’ll reply to each and everyone one. Ignore this if you wish and see me when I’m back, glowing and happy and free. Just know that I’m here, that I love you, that both myself and Delia are here for you._

_I don’t know what else to say. I could tell you a tale of my adventures but I’m not sure if that will help so I’ll await instruction from you on that front._

_Keep fighting, Beatrix Franklin. You’re stronger than you think._

_Take care._

_With all our love,_

_Patsy and Delia.’_

She turned to see Delia led on the bed, reading quietly. Patsy bit her lip before putting the letter into the envelope and sealing it, scribbling the address on the front as neatly as she could. She stood, then, making her way over to her beloved, lying beside her. She didn’t say anything, didn’t move. Simply led in peace, happy to watch Delia read. Delia glanced across at her and satisfied Patsy didn’t want to talk just yet, simply ran her fingers, tickling gently, across Patsy’s shoulder and neck. There’d be time for them to talk later.

—

Trixie stared at the envelope. The handwriting was unmistakable. She’d know it anywhere - Patsy’s. At first she’d been excited, it seemed like an age since she’d heard off her old roommate but then she realised… if Patsy knew her address, Patsy also knew that she’d fallen foul to her past. Shame, red, hot and burning rushed through her. What would Patsy think of her? Patsy who’d removed all traces of alcohol from their shared room the moment she found out? Patsy who always had a nightcap in Delia’s room to stem the temptation? Patsy who had faced her own demons and seemingly, come out better off? 

Trixie swallowed the lingering feeling and gently, ever so gently, slid her finger under the lip of the envelope, tearing it achingly slowly. Worried. What would Patsy have to say?

But as she read the letter she remembered why Patsy _was_ her best friend. The understanding, the support, the unconditional love. She felt a tear drip down, tickling her cheek as it ran down her chin. Suddenly, she felt less alone. Phyllis was wonderful but so much older and busy leading the Nonnatun Army into battle everyday. Val, whilst lovely and a great friend, didn’t understand what she’d been through and the Sisters, although an unlikely set of friends, were holy and Trixie couldn’t help but feel a little sordid in their presence. But, Patsy understood her. They were similar - it’s probably why they’d clashed on more than one occasion - but it also meant they ‘got’ one another. There was a gentleness and an ease to everything they did - from the ribbing to their morning routine - everything had seemed so easy. 

That’s probably why Trixie found herself reaching for her own pen…

_‘Patsy,_

_Thank you. Thank you for your letter and your words within it. I don’t feel able to discuss everything in a letter. To be honest, that’s why I’ve moved out of Nonnatus for a while - I just… I need to talk it through and work it out by myself away from my safety net. I know you’ll understand that and it doesn’t surprise me that your trip has more to do with your grief than a genuine desire to see the world - although I imagine Delia is quite enjoying seeing the sights._

_I appreciate your offer of a phone call but I’d much rather, if you wish to spend such an extortionate amount, you’d send me an exotic nail polish. I’m rather bored of the six colours I brought with me and yet, I don’t feel quite able to go out and buy more. Of course, I’m joking, but I do hope you’ll continue to write to me Patsy. The truth is, you’re the only person I want to write to. The only person I feel I can write to candidly._

_But I also don’t want to spoil your trip. You sound to be having the most marvellous time… I’m really rather jealous. I’ve always wanted to see America._

_I’m afraid I’m not one for words at the moment so I’m going to cut this short._

_Thank you once again Patsy… you’re the best friend a girl could ask for._

_Give my love to Delia._

_Trix.’_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this. I think it's such a shame Patsy wasn't there... I feel like there would have been some gold Trixie/Patsy friendship moments in that ep... and so this was born... I may carry it on... maybe...


End file.
